i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
