Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
