I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize