My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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