The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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