My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If its not for food we ain't going out.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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