at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
