i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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