Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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