Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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