i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Screwed.edu
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
