I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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