What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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