i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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