Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
