so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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