If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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