maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
