you guys were way drunker than both of me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
