the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
