Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
