I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize