Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
