if you like me you must not know who I am
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i think i just lost a toe
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
