I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
