if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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