So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
