But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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