david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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