When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
