Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
