had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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