kristin has been a bad kristin
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
