So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
