i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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