I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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