thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize