By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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