Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
