ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
