SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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