This girl is more easily done than said...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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