i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
