is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize