Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
