i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
