I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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