My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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