i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize