just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
