Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
