It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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