Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
