ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
