you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found puke in my bra..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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