SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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