your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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